What an amazing call shift. Here is Joyce and I the next morning after our exciting FIRSTs!!

The total count is up to fourteen births!!

Ok, three were observations; two vaginal births and one cesarean. I stood beside the operating physician and watched on with fascination and a bit of distress. It is a powerful sight to see a woman's uterus in her doctor's hands. A different kind of birth. Still a trail. Still painful. Still a beautiful baby. Still a new mother and father to THIS baby. Thank goddess for sterile technique!

The shift started with a beautiful water birth. A young woman who had an epidural with her previous birth. She didn't like not feeling her legs, not being able to go to the bathroom or how the contractions slowed down after the epidural took effect. 21 hours of .... rest basically. Her husband slept, she watched TV. I've seen several women take the opportunity at this point to update their facebook with the status of the latest vaginal exam! This time, this young woman wanted something different. So she floated in the birthing tub with the lights low. We kept it quiet. She breathed deep and moaned with contractions. In between she opened her eyes, or not. Talked a little, or not. She was aware, felt everything and enjoyed it thoroughly. I hadn't attended a water birth since my own birth of Sebastian, over 10 years ago! I remember it like yesterday, the warmth, the boyancy, the intensity of him moving through me and the shock of his birth. I sat by this young woman and was so present. Remembering. Being with her. The true essence of midwifery.

I got to catch this baby. I was a little akward since it was hard to see, and it's different under water, but all was well. And beautiful, really. She told me soon after the birth that I was awesome. "No," I said, "YOU are awesome". We truly appreciated each other. We had a nice post-partum visit as well. She was so happy with her birth and so empowered. She was enjoying telling her birth story, and will many, many more times. With joy.

The final birth of the day was to a young Christian woman who was having her 4th child. She was quiet, peaceful and prayerful. Her other 3 children came to be part of the birth, and only left when it was close to birthing time. She closed her eyes during contractions and barely moved. She told me later that during this time she had to lay still and just let the word "pain" run through her mind. When the contractions got stronger and saying "pain" wasn't enough, then she began to pray- to her heavenly father. Quietly- we didn't hear. By then she was complete and fully dilated. I did an amniotomy and thought it felt "funny", but these days there are still lots of things that do. (Happily, more and more all the time that I can decipher what I'm feeling, and it's not just "funny" :) Joyce checked just as baby was beginning to really descend. We got ready and I was poised to catch. My dear preceptor, Joyce was on the other side. Soon she was crowning. And wow, was it a bald.... oh my god, it's a butt!!! We didn't know she was breech. Doctor called, but the breech was being born quickly! I stepped back, Joyce stepped forward and with seeming ease and confidence guided the breech, lets, arms, shoulders and finally (and without a hitch THANK GOD), the head. I say seeming because she had never delivered a breech baby before! Neither had the doctor! Many midwives will never see this. Often these deliveries go well, but when they don't, it's horrific. That's why we don't do them vaginally anymore. Unless you're on the Farm in Tennessee with Ina May and her expert grandmother midwives.

I talked with the mother of this baby the next day, and she was so pleased with how everything went. She enjoyed her two midwives "two for one, it was great!" and felt that the birth went smoothly. She had declined an IV because she wanted no interventions, so a cesarean was clearly her last choice. She was very relieved that she was able to birth her little girl vaginally. She did not seem alarmed or disturbed that a breech birth is potentially more dangerous. Her faith is so strong, that she just knew God was moving through all of us and that the evening had unfolded according to plan. God's plan, not ours. It was another rare and beautiful birth. What a blessing.

The next morning this mother and I prayed together. She invited me in a very respectful and unassuming manner. Our traditions are different, but we both have strong faith and had prayed at the same moment, silently as her daughter was born. After sharing a moment like that, I felt open to sitting with her and her sleeping babe and giving thanks. She led a heartfelt and gracious blessing and asked for guidance and gifts for me on this path. She said she will miss me. She also told me never to cut my glorious long hair. I told her I will never forget her or her daughter's birth.

These stories are the ones that fill me and move me along this path. Birth moments are filled with the extremes of terror and grace. I have seen several points along the spectrum and will see many more. I love this work. It is real. The connections with people are profound, and especially so when they can be long lasting.

I'm beginning to be able to imagine the ties I will have as a midwife within my community when the families I serve are neighbors and many of the babies I see will have passed through my hands. I know that much of my joy and inspiration will come not only from those brief and powerful encounters, but also from the ongoing relationships that will be forged. It will be so good to take these skills and follow my path back home.......